Laney Wagner
(2005-2005)
Memorial website in the memory of your loved one

This memorial website was created in the memory of our beautiful daughter, Laney Grace Wagner, who was born on December 03, 2005 and went to be with Jesus on December 05, 2005 . We will remember her forever.

Please light a candle, so we'll know you've visited!


Watch Laney's Video Montage

Happy 13th Birthday, Laney Grace!  

   I love you and miss you more every day.   

"I Will Carry You" by Selah

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

[Chorus]
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says ...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

Written on February 16, 2006
The story of Laney Grace....where do I even begin? I think I need to start from the very beginning to explain how much we wanted Laney.

Jay and I started dating in high school 14 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. Wow, that’s a long time! I was only 17, but I always knew I’d marry Jay. We went to college together (War Eagle!!), and were married on September 5, 1998. We moved to Arab, and after a year of marriage, we decided we were ready for children. It took 14 long months to get pregnant, but finally, in January 2001, we learned that we were having a baby! Cody Matthew was born on August 24, 2001. He was absolutely perfect, and the best thing that ever happened to us. When Cody was almost 2, we decided that we wanted another child. So, the long journey began. It took one frustrating year and fertility drugs, but in May 2004, I got pregnant. But 3 days later, we learned that I had an ectopic pregnancy. After a few months, I went back on the fertility medicine and we started some fertility procedures. In October 2004, I got pregnant again. But 3 days later, I had a miscarriage. We waited a few more months, and decided we were ready to see a fertility specialist in April 2005. He scheduled some tests, but we didn’t get the chance to have them done. You see, that month, with no drugs and no procedures, Laney was conceived. She was a miracle baby from the very beginning. We had waited so long, and we were ecstatic. We didn’t tell anyone for a while, because we were so scared from our previous losses. But everything was going perfect, and we were finally able to share the news when I was about 10 weeks pregnant.

Cody was so excited. He said from the very beginning that he was having a sister. On August 9th, we had our ultrasound. Cody was right. We were having a baby girl! My pregnancy went very smoothly until about 24 weeks. Laney had been a very active baby, but one day her movements practically stopped. I went to the doctor, and they said everything was fine. Her heart rate was 150…just perfect. Anyone who knows me will not be surprised that I did a LOT of research on why her movements decreased. One thing I read will haunt me forever. It said, “Sick babies don’t move.” Even though my doctor said she was fine, that stayed with me my entire pregnancy. I want everyone to know that there was no way my doctor could have known of Laney's illness.  Even an amnio would not have detected it, because no one had any idea what to look for.  He is a wonderful doctor and took great care of all of us.  During the rest of my pregnancy, people always tried to feel her move. Especially my sister, Ashley. She poked at Laney all the time!  But the only people who ever felt her move were Jay and Cody. She just didn’t move much, and I tried not to worry.

Around 30 weeks, I started to feel like I could go into labor at any time. I remember telling Jay that I was going to go early. It wasn’t that “I’m miserable and I can’t last another day feeling.” It was a “something’s not right feeling.” People always say trust your instincts. Well, my motherly instincts told me my baby was sick.

At 34 weeks, I started having signs of labor. I went to the doctor and I was having contractions and dilated to 2. Dr. Cimino wasn’t worried. I was 34 weeks, so she should be fine, although he hoped I could make it to 36 weeks.

I had a baby shower at work on Friday December 2nd. I was 35 weeks pregnant. I was feeling terrible, and I had been having contractions all day. When I got home, we put up the Christmas tree. I started having some hard contractions, so I sat down to rest. We were supposed to have maternity and Christmas pictures made on Sunday. I remember thinking “I’ve got to make it until Sunday.”   You know how I am about my pictures!!  We went to bed, but I woke up at 10:45 when my water broke. We were finally going to meet our daughter!

When we got to the hospital, Laney’s heart rate was very low. They found out she was breach, and I would need a c-section. I was a little upset, but would do whatever it took for a healthy baby.

The rest is almost a blur. I remember being in the OR. I remember hearing her beautiful cry. For a moment….just for a short moment, I was happier than I’ve ever been. Unfortunately, that moment was far too short. We immediately learned she was very sick. The doctor said, “Mom, Dad…this baby’s got big problems.” Those words echo in my head every single day. Jay saw her and started crying hysterically. I heard the doctors and nurses crying also. I knew then that my baby would die. The doctor let me see her for a second, and that’s all I remember until the next day.

The next morning, we learned that Laney had a rare genetic skin disease called Harlequin Ichthyosis (HI). There are only about 100 reported cases in the ENTIRE WORLD. It’s an autosomal recessive genetic disease, which means that Jay and I are both carriers, and we both passed on this horrible gene to our beautiful baby girl. She had it from the moment she was conceived, and there was absolutely nothing that could be done. HI makes the skin very hard, and it restricts the baby’s movements. Thus explains the decrease in movement. I told you….mothers always know. She fought so hard to live. Jay says she was stubborn like me! But her fragile little body just wasn’t strong enough. At 11:50 a.m. on December 5th, we said goodbye to our daughter.

We miss her more than words can express.  There are holes in our hearts that will never be filled, but I thank God for the two days we had with her.  Jay said "She touched more lives in 2 days than I have in 30 years."  She certainly did.  She was a miracle indeed.

Laney Grace, we love you!  Someday, we'll hold you again in Heaven.

Click here to see Laney Wagner's
Family Tree
Tributes and Condolences
Happy 12th Birthday, Laney Grace!   / Darlene Farabee (Friend)
Beautiful little Laney Grace Growing sweeter every day Loving every new person You meet along Heaven’s way! Your kindness and compassion Flows from you above To each of us here on Earth And we each send you our love!
Happy 11th Birthday, Laney Grace!   / Darlene (Friend)
Happy 11th Birthday, Laney Grace! Beautiful, Laney Grace Young, Excited, Shining Bright Your love abounds all over the place Both Heaven and Earth can see your light! Friends with Jesus Loving everyone in all you do Happy 11th Birth...  Continue >>
Happy birthday, Laney!   / Lori Bailey (friend of Shannon's and Jay's )
Little Laney, You've probably found my two friends in Heaven by now.  I hope that you welcomed them in, when they arrived.  Deborah St. John and her 5-year-old daughter, Mary Kathryn, are there now.  Deborah was a fantastic mama on ea...  Continue >>
Happy 10th Birthday, Laney Grace!   / Darlene Farabee (Friend)
Happy 10th Birthday, Laney Grace! Beautiful little Laney Grace Singing, playing, happy every day Friends all over the place Praising God in every way! Your joy flows from Heaven ...  Continue >>
Happy 9th Birthday, Laney Grace!   / Darlene Farabee (Friend)
Happy 9th Birthday, Laney Grace! Beautiful little Laney Grace Dancing happily all around Smiles, giggles, and a shining face In Heaven there are no frowns! Best friends with Jesus and all the angels, too Happy 9th Birthday Laney Grace Hu...  Continue >>
Happy 8th Birthday, Laney Grace!  / Darlene Farabee (Friend)    Read >>
Happy 7th Birthday, Laney Grace!  / Darlene Farabee (Friend)    Read >>
Happy 6th Birthday, Laney Grace!  / Darlene (Friend)    Read >>
Happy 5th Birthday, Laney Grace!  / Darlene (Friend)    Read >>
Happy 4th Birthday, Laney Grace!  / Darlene (Friend)    Read >>
Merry Christmas Laney-Grace  / Aunt Ashley     Read >>
Happy Birthday Laney  / Stephanie Hollis (friend)    Read >>
What can I give?  / Marilyn Wagner (aunt)    Read >>
Happy 3rd Birthday, Laney Grace!  / Darlene     Read >>
Happy Birthday  / Nana     Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences
Her legacy
12/7/17  
Twelve years ago today, we laid our daughter to rest. It was a bitter cold day, much like today. Stepping into the cold this morning took me back to that day. I remember the moment I saw that tiny casket, the clothes I was wearing, Amazing Grace. Every time I hear Amazing Grace, I think of Laney. I miss my baby immensely. I love you, Laney Grace. You are so loved and so missed.
December 2, 2014  
Sometimes the enormity and realness of Laney's death hits me hard. Tonight seems to be one of those times. I can't stop thinking about the events that started to unfold exactly 9 years ago at this very moment. It was the worst day of my life. So sad to say that about my daughter's birthday. Though we have all learned to cope with her death, her absence is still very much felt. I no longer talk about her every day, but I think of her every single day. A few months ago, after I had told Cody to clean under his bed 1001 times, I entered his room with a broom and a garbage bag and vowed to throw anything under there in the garbage. Coins, dollar bills, clothes--you name it, it went in the bag. I picked up a stuffed dog and noticed that he was staring at it, silently begging me not to throw it away. I asked him if it was special for some reason and the tears began to flow. I immediately remembered that he got it at the hospital gift shop when Laney was born. It reminded him of her. It was sweet and heartwrenching at the same time. The grief just seems to sneak up on us sometimes. I miss her so much. Happy birthday, sweet girl.
5/23/2014  

My sweet Laney,

You've been particulary heavy on my mind for the past several days.  It's the end of the school year, and it always makes me sappy.  It just makes me realize that my kids have grown another whole year.  I cry because they are growing way too fast, but I cry also because they get the chance to.  The chance you didn't get.  As we were driving home yesterday from Lily's last day of school, she began to talk about you.  "I wish Laney had lived.  If she had, I'd be going home to play with her."  She asked me if you ever talked.  I explained to her again that you only lived for two days and that you were just a tiny newborn baby who hadn't learned to talk.  She sighed and said "that's a really sad life for Laney."  And she's right from our perspective.  But I know that you are really the lucky one.  You went straight to the arms of Jesus into Heaven. You didn't have to endure the darkness that this world sometimes gives, like saying goodbye to your sweet baby girl.  Still, the selfishness in me wishes you were here.

Lily went on to say that sometimes she just really wants to go to Heaven now, because she wants to play with you and she has so many questions to ask Jesus.  But sometimes she wants to stay here because it's great here, too, and because she loves me :)  She's such a smart and kind girl.  I agree with her.  What an awesome day we have to look forward to.  But for now, I will soak up the time I have.  Because even though there is sometimes darkness, there is much beauty. Gary Allan said it best.  "Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride." 

I miss you, Laney Grace. With every single breath I take.

Hugs and Kisses,

Mommy

6/2/2013  

Dear Laney,

Today was a special day.  I had the privilege of watching your sister, Lily, shine in her very first dance recital.  She looked so beautiful, and she absolutely loved it.  It's moments like these that make me incredibly grateful that I have two beautiful daughters on earth, but incredibly sad that I missed these precious times with you.  I know you would have been just as beautiful, baby girl.  I hope you're dancing away in Heaven.  Words don't even come close to describing how much I miss you and want to see you again.  Until then, I hope you know how very much I love you.

Hugs and kisses,

Mommy

 

Happy 6th Birthday, Laney!  

Hi baby girl.  Every year, it just seems unreal that we've spent another year without you.  Six years old.  I can hardly believe it's been 6 years since I held you, heard you cry, and watched your teeny tiny little feet tapping on your bed.  It's been a long road, but I finally have moments that I think of you with joy and happiness instead of always thinking of that awful disease.   

You were born on a Saturday, and today, your 6th birthday is on a Saturday, too.  When I think about waking up that morning 6 years ago, it really makes me sick.  I was devastated and hopeless.  Today, even though your loss still feels tremendous and overwhelming, I feel joy and hope.  I remember a sermon that was on joy.  He said that joy doesn't necessarily mean that you are always happy and never hurting.  It's choosing to feel happy with what we have despite the trials and sadness we face.  As I type, I feel tiny little flutters from your new baby sister.  Who would have thought that, Laney?? We already have your precious brother and sister, and now we get the privilege of having another sweet baby girl.  I choose joy.  I feel joy, even through this sea of tears, and I know you would want that.  And I have hope.  Because I know I will see you again.

Lily wants to make chocolate cupcakes for you today.  That makes my heart happy (and my stomach, too :))  Happy 6th Birthday, Laney Grace!  I love you and miss you to Heaven and back.

Love,

Mommy

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Laney's Photo Album
Laney's footprints. Can't tell from the pic, but they are barely an inch long!
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